Preparing For School

Preparing For School

Preparing For School Ruth Coppard Help Me Help My Child

Preparing for School: Paper by Ruth Coppard

and Preparing for After Lockdown

Even during pregnancy, parents worry about the best sort of education for their child. It might be that the child will go automatically to the school his parents attended, it may be that the area is new to you or that you want so much more for your best beloved. You choose a school and then you worry that this tiny child might not be ready. He is little more than a baby, how will he cope with the educational and social expectations of a school? You know this child intimately, how will he be treated by adults and children who can not possibly love him as you do? What can you do to give him the critical pre-school skills so that he can maximise his opportunities? With the right sort of preparation, school becomes an exciting place, full of chances to learn and make friends. How can you make this happen?

We probably expect more of our young children in Britain than in any other country in the world. Our children go to school very early and face continual assessments. How can parents help?

Rate of development.

It is important to understand that although children develop skills in the same order, children who develop ‘normally’, do not all develop at the same age.

Some children learn to walk at ten months, others at fourteen – both are normal! Some are born with teeth, others are totally gummy at twelve months. Again, both normal! Apparently Einstein didn’t speak till he was three. My daughter was a fluent reader at four and a half, my son didn’t read till he was seven – both went to good universities. My daughter couldn’t pronounce all her sounds until she was five, [‘k’ is one of the last sounds to come and she sounded sweet asking for ‘a tup of toffee’]. My son never had a problem with making sounds correctly. Try also to understand that young children are developing in several different ways. Small children are developing physical skills, as well as language skills and reasoning.

You will have noticed that each strand develops separately so that a one year old will, perhaps, struggle to stand up and walk, and then another skill – perhaps the fine motor skills needed for feeding – will be practised, and then some language will develop, and then perhaps there will be a growth spurt.  Remember that a small child is only able to learn something when he is ready to learn it. A famous experiment taught one identical twin to climb the stairs. The other was able to do the same within two days, with no specific teaching at all.

Helping them along.

But what activities will help with pre-school skills? Firstly:

Remember that children are not able to concentrate for long,

Most things a child does are new and will teach something,

Children enjoy learning for its own sake but very much value the approval and praise of people they love. Children can only learn what they are ready to learn – so physical development means a just-four year old might not be able to hop on both left and right feet, or catch with one hand; brain development means that most four year olds have some difficulty distinguishing visually between b/d, t/f, n/u, 2/5; or counting 7 things, or remembering a visual design, or drawing a proper triangle or square.

At this stage, many parts of the brain are still developing. The ‘normal range’ includes children who develop more quickly as well as those who develop more slowly – almost all teenagers no longer wet the bed, are able to read well, catch with each hand, tell the time etc, but there might be a few years between the first and last to develop these skills.


Useful pre-school activities include helping the children to learn their colours – the child will first recognise and be able to group objects with the same colour: here is a green sock, can you find me all the other green socks? Next, the child should be able to give you the green sock when you ask for it; and finally, when you ask what colour it is, the child should be able to tell you the sock is green.


Number work is good, but some children will not be ready for complicated stuff. Many children can count, fewer are able to count on a 1:1 basis; if you ask the child to count by putting his finger on each item, he might be able to count accurately to about four, but then put his fingers over the objects vaguely, or even touch the items but count wrongly. Even when they can count accurately to 10, many children become very confused with the way numbers work after that.  It is good, too, to help children recognise their numbers. Start with those wonderful books and games which show numbers very clearly, possibly alongside balloons or cats or ice creams. Wall charts are useful to remind of the shapes that numbers make.

Numbers also make patterns and children from the age of 3 might enjoy playing cards and dominoes, particularly those with a picture on one side and a number on the other.


Dominoes will also help children to match pictures and patterns and later to match simple words too. Most children seem to begin by recognising shapes, often word shapes rather than letter shapes. You may have noticed that your child can recognise some brand names from advertising on television. The child’s own name is a very good place to start.

Most importantly though, the child should be encouraged to want to read, to enjoy stories rather than to see them as a chore where they are required to identify letters and words. Use your finger to underline where you are reading so that your child learns that we read from top to bottom and from left to right, and take time to talk about interesting parts of the story, and to discuss the pictures.

Use anything and everything – put the child’s name on little cakes or pastry, draw a name or a number or a shape with soap on the side of the bath, use the child’s finger to trace a word on sand-paper or in salt or flour or foam. We all use different senses to learn: your child might particularly benefit from feeling the shape of letters and numbers.

Physical Skills

Your child also needs to develop physical skills. Help him to catch a big ball in two hands and to throw it. He could play at rolling a ball to you and catching it when you roll it back. Encourage him to kick a ball. Hold his hand while he walks along a small wall, or jumps down the steps, of down the bottom three steps. He could practise walking carefully along a chalk line or a skipping rope laid on the ground, and walking backwards. Jumping with two feet has to be mastered before he can jump on one, and few children can hop on both feet before they are five.

Social skills

But the social side of school is important too. Teach your child to take turns, teach him to play different games. Teach him to lose sometimes – even though winning is better. Some children are naturally very shy and will need a lot of encouragement to feel at ease in a group situation; don’t let school be the first time he is in a group larger than his family. Give your child some experience of managing without you for a little while so that school is not such a shocking experience.

Try to teach him to use the toilet properly, to wipe his bottom, to flush the toilet and to wash and dry his hands; make sure he can blow and wipe his nose. Make sure your child is able to put his socks on and pull his pants up if possible.

Of course, teachers expect to help small children but the more he can do for himself, the more confident he will feel.

Tease your child gently so that he learns to be laughed at sometimes. If your child is someone who smiles or laughs nervously when told off, help him not to – this is often misinterpreted as insolence or cheek.

The first days.

Taking your child to school for the first time can be highly distressing, however much you have anticipated the freedom of your child going to school and even if your child has already attended Nursery. Starting proper school seems to bring an understanding that your child is now on the long road to Adulthood. This little child in smart clothes, standing up straight and proud of the new status, is going to be a Grown-Up. Of course you know that children grow up, but this is often the first time reality really strikes. Your child is going to be doing things without you, have friends you don’t know, perhaps fall in love with his teacher. This small child is going to become taller and separate from you. It’s frequently a much harder break for the parent than for the child. And when he does go to school, don’t grill him on his achievements. Be pleased to see him come home, and interested in what he has to say. Most children can not answer the question ‘What happened at school today?’ with more than – possibly – a description of what they ate for lunch. Your child is much more likely to be willing and able to tell you stories about school later, possibly as you tuck him in at bedtime. Be proud of what he achieves, but mostly be pleased that he is happy.

After the Lockdown!

Of course, now is different – in that there are so many different ways of going to school , possibly for the first time in ages. Some school will have maintained contact with class meetings online, other schools will have done little, and some children will be going to new schools.

After the never-ending Groundhog Day experience that was Lockdown, things are changing. And they are changing differently for everyone – and we are all different and in different situations.

In the last few weeks everyone has experienced life differently: for some there has been the sadness of serious illness, for others there has been the joy of spending a lot of time together, and for others it has been hard work. For many there is anxiety about finances, and worry about people you love catching the virus, caring for people, going to work.

And now there is going back to school. Some schools are re-starting this week, others not for a few more days or weeks. This is offered to some, but not to everybody; offered some days to some children; with no guarantee of who will be there, what will be taught, and how people will keep safe. Some families may be able to choose to keep their children at home – if you have been home schooling for ten weeks and only one of the children has been offered time in school, it may seem easier to stay at home until September. For other families it will be important to go back to work.

You must do the best that you can do in your circumstances. Only you know what can be managed in your family – certainly as long as school is optional until September, the children will not lose out academically if they don’t go back.

The important thing is to make sure the children understand what is happening. That involves you trying to find out what is happening. Schools are being encouraged to guarantee Social Distancing and each school is doing it in a way that suits their situation. They are using classrooms differently, playgrounds differently, space differently. Some schools have plastic shields, others have swapped water fountains for hand sanitisers, some toilets are blocked off.  Similarly, teachers and T.A.’s have had to decide whether they are able to come back in, so that your child may find things very different.

As Parents and Carers, you can try and find out what is to be changed. Some changes will be organised already, others will change according to the problems the school encounters. All of us like certainty, your children might need certainty.

Use a large timetable to show when there is school for which child. Colour coding might help. Use pictures as well – stick men, maybe, if your child does not have much language. Talk about the Calendar every evening and morning, so your children understand what is happening. Some schools are alternating morning and afternoon school.  Check whether they should wear uniform. Check what will be happening about food and water bottles.

Explain what school might be like:

  • There might be sanitiser spots for washing your hands a lot
  • Some people might be wearing face masks
  • Everyone will be standing quite a way apart
  • The child might not be with their teacher
  • The child might not be with their friends
  • The classroom may seem emptier, there will be fewer tables and chairs.
  • Lessons wont be the same and the child wont be sitting close to anyone.
  • Playtimes and breaks might be in different places, and school times might be different.

Plan how you will get things ready for school, what school bag, what pens and crayons.

Talk about the route to school, will you use public transport, will you go together for the first day? how and when will they come home.

Plan what your child can take with them if they need a comfort object – remind them that they’ll have to leave it in the bag probably. If you have something you always wear – a chain , bracelet or ring – your child might be happy to have it secretly on them to feel safe.

The more you talk about it, the easier it will be for your child to think about what to expect.

If your child can understand, explain that all these precautions are to do with the Virus – we don’t really understand how it spreads, but this seems the best way to stop it. Children don’t usually get the virus but adults might and so everything is being kept super clean.

Answer any questions as best you can. The other children will be going back later when there is a bit more room and certainty. The government has decided who can go back now and who can go back later. At the moment we think everyone will be going back in September,

Privacy Preference Center