This is something I’m struggling with a lot.

Our rules say that we have to treat children as being entitled to have their confidence kept – although there are exemptions and we warn children and young people that everything is confidential unless its something that may cause them harm, or someone else may be at risk etc. More problematic for me, is the idea that chilsren and young people can decide for themselves if they want treatment. This makes sense for youngsters in their mid-teens – there is the modification of the Gillick Ruling where   Lord Scarman says As a matter of parental law, the parental right to
determine whether or not their minor child below the age of sixteen will have
medical treatment terminates if and when the child achieves sufficient
understanding and intelligence to understand fully what is proposed.” But how does it work for the adolescent with ASD who can not see beyond his immmediate needs and wants? I was at a Conference on Transitions for young autistic people – what was available? and met with several parents. One mum was worried because her 16 year old will no longer leave hisbedroom, which make sthe whole notion of Transition fairly academic.In that case, the thinking was probably quite simply: if he is not willing to leave his bedroom, then he is not able to determine the best action for him.

Of more concern is probably the more doubtful case: the girl who seems very able, does well at school but refuses to take her exams, Or the boy who refuses to see the psychologist because it is perfectly usual for him to talk to everyone by text message, or even the young person who denies they need help but refuses ever to wash or wash their hair? I suppose it might be said that a young person has the right to make those decisions…. but whatever happens then impinges on the parent. The unwashed boy will be rejected, and the parent can imagine and will bear the consequences. The texting person may communicate well enough in the short-term, but what then?

Transitions is a time of change. People on the spectrum dont like change – how much should be down to them?

I do love children with Asperger Syndrome – the name may change in a couple of years when ‘they’ might decide that everyone is on the ASD spectrum, rather than using the suggestion that people with Asperger Syndrome go to mainstream school, but have especial problems. But what is wonderful is the literalness: so one boy ages 13 was talking to his teacher: ‘Mrs Johnson…. have you heard of anti-wrinkle cream? ‘ ‘Yes. Freddy , I have’ . ‘Well might I suggest you use it because you have got quite a lot of wrinkles’. Then he worried that he might have gone too far and upset her…’I’m sorry, I haven’t offended you have I?…You know I’ve got Aspergers?’ She was not offended – it was not meant to hurt. A boy of 9 sat with his class while his teacher asked ‘Does anyone know why I sometimes send you out of the classroom?’  ‘me,me,me, Miss’ said boy.’You send us out of the classroom because you cant cope’. It was true, and she sent him out again.
The old man who said to his neighbour: you should go in and sit down. With the weight you’re carrying, you’ll do yourself no good standing on that gravel. And the boy who asked his ill Granny: Granny, when are you going to die?
These are not children and people being rude, these are people who are saying something and tell the truth because they do not understand that the truth is sometimes painful to others.
Tonight was the Asperger Youth Club for young people on the spectrum. Its interesting to watch how like other children they are, and how different.  They mostly play computer games, and chess and hangman together, but some children prefer to play alone. They will wander off and buy sweeties and not think to share, they wonder where some child has gone, but are not offended to be  left. They chat up each other but in a sweet, rather innocent way. And if they dont understand something that is happening, they ask.
The young people feel rather younger than their peers; these are the children whose parents often keep them at home so they dont get into trouble by saying something totally inappropriate to older boys. They do not appreciate that what they are saying might upset other people; being different can be dangerous.
There are other young people who dont come to Youth Club – they are the ones who don’t really yearn for friends, but are happier to stay in their bedrooms, sending messages across continents to others. And they have their own problems – not now while they have parents who love and care for them, but later may be prone to depression and anxiety, and who may be bullied by others because they have no notion at all of how the world works.
In real life, many people have and live well with ASD. And it should be getting easier. It is said that most people in Silicon Valley, where much of the  computer stuff in the US is based, have ASD, marry people with ASD and have children with ASD. And everyone is happy. While children with ASD make up just one percent of the general population, it may not be as easy for them here.